Kara’s family want to share a glimpse into Kara’s heart, revealing the tender thoughts that prompted her to ask the heart-wrenching question: “Why’d I wake Daddy?”
Whilst navigating the challenging landscape of COVID restrictions, though thankfully, we had endured the worst of it. Kara had been admitted to the hospital once again, marking yet another visit in her long struggle with M.E. Our hearts were heavy with worry for her. As a family, we had become all too familiar with Kara’s brushes with death, and each time brought a wave of uncertainty—could this be the final chapter in her journey?
Kara lay peacefully in a coma, enveloped in the gentle care of the doctors who were dedicated to keeping her comfortable during this difficult time. They compassionately informed us that her journey might soon reach its end, a reality that weighed heavily on all our hearts. Her parents stood by her side, holding her hand and softly speaking to her, embracing the painful yet loving acceptance that they were likely preparing to say their final goodbyes. Despite the doctors’ efforts to rouse her and the desperate hope from her parents, it became clear that this was the moment for Kara to be kept as comfortable as possible as she peacefully drifted away.
Kara’s father, David, prayed earnestly, asking God to restore her health if she still had a purpose on this earth. Yet, if God’s plan was to bring her home to heaven, he expressed heartfelt gratitude for the precious moments they shared together.
Kara’s sister, Emily, faced the heartbreaking decision to stay home, heavily pregnant and anxious about the risks of COVID at the hospital. With a heavy heart, she chose to say goodbye over a video call, knowing it was the safest option. David, Kara’s dad, gently held the phone close so Emily could witness Kara’s serene expression. As Emily sweetly greeted, “Hiya Babe!” Kara’s eyes unexpectedly fluttered open, capturing a moment filled with love and connection despite the distance.
Emily recalls the overwhelming confusion of that moment from her home, where she watched as doctors hurried into the room, the camera capturing the frantic energy around her. She could hear David’s startled voice saying, “We’ll have to call you back, Emily!” It was remarkable to think that Kara had awakened, and the doctors later expressed their disbelief at the miracle unfolding before them. For everyone present, it was a moment filled with profound relief and gratitude, a time to celebrate that she was still with us, reminding us of the preciousness of life.
However, for Kara, this time was filled with overwhelming confusion, frustration, and deep sadness. While in the coma, she experienced an unparalleled sense of peace. Upon reflection, she longed for the ability to have slipped away in that serene moment, completely untouched by the chaos surrounding her.
Hence her words:
“I don’t recall sleeping, but my soul slept sound,
I don’t recall the beeping of all alarms,
I don’t recall the shouting of my name,
I don’t recall the people begging for me to wake.”
“And me, blissfully unaware, And me, blissfully unaware,
Surrounded by such peace, I didn’t give a care,
Such a beautiful sleep, Such a beautiful sleep,
Such a beautiful dream, Such a beautiful dream.”
In those delicate moments following her coma, Kara’s heartfelt question resonated deeply, “Why’d I wake Daddy?”
Why did she have to wake up only to face more suffering?
Why did she have to awaken to such unbearable pain?
Why couldn’t she have gently slipped away into a serene and eternal rest?
Why couldn’t her death have been peaceful?
Why did she now have to live knowing that her death was still to come?
Why? Why? Why?
Kara Jane 